2004 Typewriter Contest Winners

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Did you think of an old typewriter as an erotic object?

Well, neither did we. But we were curious to see how authors could work a non-erotic object into an erotic story. We were pleasantly surprised with the result of this difficult challenge. Stories poured in from around the world. It was rewarding to see such a good turn-out for such a difficult assignment.

Perhaps most rewarding of all, especially to those of us who write ourselves, nearly every story we received featured a writer of some kind. And in a vast majority of those stories, the writer got laid. If there is one lesson to be learned from this contest, it’s this: if you want sex, all you gotta do is drag that old Underwood or Olivetti out of the closet.

Judging was a tough assignment. But sorting ten winning stories had its perks: we were able to read more than one hundred of the best stories we’ve received in our contests so far.

When we turned our attention to the winner’s list, we noticed one common theme: all three of our top prize winners featured a loss of some kind. What was interesting, though, was how the characters dealt with that loss. Goodrichdirt gave us a story of survival and perseverance; Smokey Sexsmith featured a relationship just past the edge of disintegration; Angelina Acquista showed us the intensity of emotion that occurs after the death of a lover.

We also saw some interesting similarities within the runners up. Linda F. Henson and Shannon Kizzia address problems authors experience in their daily work. Two of the more interesting business offices we’ve heard about were featured in stories by Kit and Roxy Katt. Sarah Black and Kathleen Bradean submitted stories that work their typewriters into some kind of search. And then there is Mat Twassel’s story, which is in a category all its own.

But there was one thing all these stories had in common: they sure tapped our keys!

Now sit up straight, feet flat on the floor, back straight, forearms parallel to the floor, fingers hovering over the home row, and read these winning stories. And if you enjoy their work, be sure to contact the authors and let them know.

First Prize: Typing Away at the Kitchen Table, by goodrichdirt

Joe and Missy are dying, but don’t let that fool you. There’s still a lot of life in them. Goodrichdirt has written a story that embraces life with all its hardships and all its ecstasies. She found a way to make a very difficult subject light and sexy, and proves that immortality is possible, thanks to the written word. On first glance, the typewriter may seem insignificant, but in reality, its symbolism – nostalgia, humanity, death – shines.

Second Prize: Come Back, Jen, by Smokey Sexsmith

In “Come Back, Jen,” Smokey Sexsmith introduces us to the irresistible Jen through the eyes of a dejected and rejected lover. His loss is the reader’s gain. Within this love letter is woven a story of obsession and regret, lust and loss. And lessons learned too late. A gem.

Third Prize: The Key of B, by Angelina Acquista

Powerfully written, about powerful subjects, Anglina Acquista’s trek back to the 1940s more than “touched” this judge on several levels; it bowled me over. A female victim of World War Two must cope with an unimaginable conflict, an unacceptable human cost, a seemingly impossible grief. Nothing sexy about that? Give it a read. The author has transformed despair into a gentle hope, death into life, bitterness into erotic ecstasy. Nothing could be more real, more hot than a “touch” from her husband’s typewriter, a lover’s caress.

Honorable Mentions

The Bird-Like Pleasures Of Unploughed Maine, by Mat Twassel

Like its title, “The Bird-Like Pleasures of Unploughed Maine” is a unique and curious tale. Through his compelling prose, MatTwassel lures the reader into a flight of fancy where he masterfully blurs the boundaries of fantasy and reality. I dare you not to read this one twice.

Rhapsody in Qwerty Minor, by Kathleen Bradean

“Rhapsody in Qwerty Minor” captures the breathless anticipation of gratification delayed. To the rhythm of a symphony played on typewriter keys, Kathleen Bradean’s characters embark on a lovers’ game of seduction that culminates in a delicious foretaste of what lies in store. Tantalizing.

Imperfect Perfection, by Linda F. Henson

With her irrepressible wit and energy an amazing young woman delights the reader with the tale of a couple grappling with an inexplicable bump in their sex-life. The frank and novel approaches to the dilemma almost ache for a film version of this story. The images are crisp, real, outrageous, and smothered in sensuality. This talented author provides us with a well lubricated, refreshingly perfect ride.

Imprint, by Shannon Kizzia

This story is hot! And I don’t just mean the atmosphere. Shannon Kizzia does a great job of setting the scene: the external temperature – 100 degrees, internal temperature – off the scale. The story sizzles. A writer needs motivation. Her lover has a suggestion that includes props. What develops is guaranteed to be steamy and leave its imprint on your mind.

Gagging the Press, by Roxy Katt

The aptly titled, “Gagging the Press” is smart, sexy slapstick. Through the antics of the succulent Elizabeth Peach, Roxy Katt has crafted a lighthearted story about gender roles and the culmination of sexual tension in the workplace. The snappy banter and witty repartee make this story a delightful romp.

The Olivetti, by Sarah Black

Doctor Laura Winter, Chair of Cultural Anthropology, is on a research mission. She is trying to locate an artifact of a time when women did the back-breaking, finger-numbing job of mechanically transcribing text into print, a job that helped liberate them from the patriarchy. This is a deftly written story about liberation – whoo hoo! It’s sassy, fun and as irreverent as Laura herself. In the end, it’s hard to tell exactly who gets liberated the most, nor do we care – when underwear becomes superfluous and the research becomes intense.

Power Cut, by Kit

“What do you do in the modern office when there’s a power cut?” Kit proceeds to tell us in that understated humorous way that the British know how to do so well. You might not find yourself laughing out loud, but you will be smiling from beginning to end. The true charm of the story is its ability to wrap humor and erotica in the same package for the lucky reader to unwrap one delicious line after another. Ping!

When you’re done here, take a peek at the winners of our other contests.

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